Loss

We lost a really good friend of ours on Saturday.  I am very sad about it. It has also made me realize that I let life get in the way of the people who matter the most to me.  I travel to Grand Junction a lot and one of my VERY best friends in the whole world lives there and it seems like we can never manage to get together even for minute.  I have decided that from this point on I will see her much more! Pug didn't live that far away from us and yet we hadn't seen him for years, this angers me now.  He was my husband's best friend and one of very few friends of his that I really liked.  There is nothing I can do about it now except change the way I look at things and start spending more time with the people I love.  The house, laundry and all of the other chores can wait until later. RIP Puggy!!

This is a picture of Pug and Brendan up at Oowah when we went camping once.  I think Brendan was about 4 or 5 years old here.

Frustration!

I am freaking out again! Why? Well a million different things.  My husbands job could possibly be laid off at any moment.  I am afraid it is going to be like a Halliburton thing where no one gets hardly any notice or none at all.  I am panicking a little and starting to look at all of our options.  We have said that if we ever have to move, we would go back to GJ.  I have been going back and forth about moving for a while now.  Some days I don't want to go at all, some days I want to go but, its not that strong of a feeling and then there are days like today.  I feel extremely strong about moving. I had a weird dream last night about going back to work at the Regional Center in GJ, it was a job I had before.  I woke up this morning with this urgency feeling of needing to REALLY look at our options.  I happened across the Halliburton website and saw that they were hiring for Brandons old job. Is that a sign or just me looking more into things than they really are.  I just wanna scream!!  I love my friends here but it seems like lately I have more of a connection with my friends in GJ.  Maybe that is the reason I am looking more and more into GJ.  I have 2 other problems: I have my oldest son, he has 2 more years left in high school and there is no way I could take him from here. But then I think what if Brandon is one of the guys that get laid off?? If we are ahead of the game and find another job before that happens that is the best thing for us. What if he isn't one them that gets laid off and he quits for another job and loses this good job, even though he hates it!  The other problem is housing. Our credit sucks A$$!! so, buying a house right now is not an option.  I also don't want to just walk away from this house.  We have put ALOT of money into it. First, getting it out of foreclosure and then all of the repairs and replacement of things, trying to get the yard to look somewhat decent and everything else in between.  We could sale it but, I am not sure if we would get anything back or if we would be upside down since it has a weird loan where the government has paid for part of it and when you sale before the loan is paid, you have to pay back whatever they have paid for also.  Just re-reading this makes me CRAZY!! I wish I knew what would be the best thing for everyone.

Day 5!!

Well, it has been 5 days since I started my "Resolution" of eating good and exercising.  I have not had pop or coffee since Sunday January 2nd!! This is HUGE for me.  I have been eating good too.  I  have not had any alcohol except for a glass of wine today and I haven't had any junk at all!  I have been following the biggest loser club and so I have 3 regular meals and 3 snacks a day.  I have found it hard to eat all of the food.  It fills me up and a lot of the days, I have had to skip a snack or two.  If I could have the body and healthy out look of anyone, it would have to be Jillian Michaels.  She is awesome!! I weigh in on Sunday so we will see if any of it is paying off.  I started last Sunday at 144.4 lbs.