Tuesday, December 16, 2008
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the pediatrician's office more than my doctor. Sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground.
I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.
I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.
It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.
Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always, MOM...!P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
I am going to try and participate more in the blogosphere. There are many things that go on to participate in and some great reading.
For today, Not Me Monday is a list of things I absolutely did not do! Who does those things anyway? After reading please head over to McMama's Blog and check out other Not Me Mondays for some good laughs.
- I did not make Totino's Pizza three times last week because I was to lazy to make anything else. No, not me!
- I did not sit and watch my three year old play in a bowl of shredded cheese and continue to roll it into a ball and make a mess. I did not, not say anything to him cause he was completely entertained and not screaming or fighting with his sister.
-I did not spend most of Saturday on my rear doing nothing but watching TV and playing on the computer.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Cheaper than Therapy is doing a giveaway. Isn't this the cutest little necklace? You have a chance to win this necklace by doing just a couple of really easy things. Go check out her website now!!
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Well we went to Moab to visit and had a nice relaxing weekend. On the way back home we made a couple of stops along the way. We stopped at Matrimony Springs which is a natural spring that runs just outside of Moab. Then, we stopped at Dewey Bridge. It was a suspension bridge that was built in 1916 and last year, a 7 year old boy was playing with matches and started it on fire. All that is left is the suspension wires and the cement at the end. Very Sad.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
The real reason I thought about getting on her was cause Riley did a sort of..........it wasn't really a funny but it was.
Brandon and I had taken Riley, Madison and 2 of Madison's friends into town to look at blockbuster. I was wandering around by myself to try and find a good movie and Brandon was following the kids around. I kept hearing Riley get really excited about the different monsters and such on the movie cases. I had finally picked out a movie and had gone over to get everyone so we could check out and all of a sudden I hear "ooooooooh fuck!!" of course at that moment the store was completely silent and Madison older friend looks at me like did he really just say that? I could feel my face turning bright red and Brandon was trying not to laugh. Riley was just going on and didn't even notice. I am hoping to ignore it and hope I don't hear that again. I was so embarassed!!
Well I hope someone gets a good laugh from that. Sorry no pictures but hopefully soon!!